Tag Archives: plussize

The Naked Effect

So, you may or may not be aware, but Kim Kardashian posted a series of naked selfies on line a few weeks ago. The first titled ‘when your like, I have nothing to wear’ which has resulted in a number of other celebrities following suit, including Sharon Osborne. Now don’t get my wrong, I am not a fan of the Kardashians, their life style or the environment that created them. But I have a lot of time for what the photo did, what it has done and hopefully what it will continue to do (hopefully).

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What plays on my mind is that one of my favourite artists , Pink has already condemned the selfie, although not naming anyone directly. And let us remember her song on the matter Stupid Girls You Tube Link which she illustrated her feelings on the matter rather eloquently. But I am I getting ahead of myself, her feelings on what? On using your body, and not your brain to get what you need/want/desire. Pink has long made a stand against the conventional and expected and beaten her own path, in her work and in her personal life. She is a fantastic role model for women of all ages, tackling some pretty hard topics in her music. I adore Pink. I really do.

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But on the matter of naked selfies, she is wrong. Now I am going to sidestep the issue of whether or not Mrs K W is a feminist at the moment (as it will be looked at in another blog) and just look at what she has done. She has empowered women to share their self. No makeup, no hiding, sharing a photo of yourself in a mirror selfie is pretty empowering. A while a go there was a thread in a group I spend a lot  of time. It was basically a middle finger to haters, but it was so empowering, everyone posted a mirror selfie either naked or in underwear. I was not confident enough to bare all. But I have to say it had such a strong, community spirit that I joined in wearing my undies.

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So yes, while I guess, there is a lot to be said about someone in a position of power, using that platform for good. And that should be with strong, empowering messages – stay in school, eat healthy, think positive, don’t drink and drive. But can we just hold on a moment. Just .. imagine, for a moment, that a woman looks in the mirror, and… you may want to sit down for this… DOESN’T HATE WHAT SHE SEES! What if a woman, who is famous, thinks, you know what, I am going to share my confidence in my own body with everyone. I am going to put this publicly, I am going to be in control of the images of my body, I will call the shots, and share what I want and how I want it. What if girls, and women, start being able to see that their body and its image is for their own consumption. And that by appreciating their own body, self love, by being able to objectively look at the image and see what is beautiful about it. By seeing the result of those gym sessions is paying off, by seeing the tiger marks, by realising that while their body isn’t perfectly formed, it is perfect for them.

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What if girls and women, learn that the female form is nothing to be ashamed off, it isn’t slutty to think you look good, to see that we come in all shapes and sizes. Not to feel embarrassed, to learn to look in the mirror, to love what you see. I may be reading too much into Kim K’s motivation for sharing THAT selfie, but isn’t interpretation what is comes down to. What conversation it starts, how it effects people and how minds change?

So, while I love Pink, I am sorry this time, I don’t agree with you!

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Update: Since first starting this blog post – i am not sure how obvious it is, but often I have several unfinished blog posts on the go, so it can take up to a month for me to publish a blog…. Kim K just released another topless selfie, this time with a friend. I fully commend her, and her sense of humour 🙂

Now, I want to share my beautiful friends page, Haelin Rayne is a beautiful person inside and out – if you want to see more of her work : Click Here below are some images she recently took with Absolute Images, which I adore! Celebrate the female form, it is stunning! 

Haters, gonna hate!

Body Shaming

So body shaming, fat shaming, skinny shaming, slut shaming… it is all the same thing. It is taking a physical attribute and passing comment about it. Looking back at previous blog posts that somehow never quite made it to published.. it is just something that keeps giving. Below is a screen shot from my FB page – it was something I posted a year ago.

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Body shaming has been around in one form or another for as long as we can recall. Longer maybe. The ability for one woman to make another feel bad is limitless. As is a man to make a woman question her worth. And let us not forget, sex only sells when the object remains an object.

So is it just about sex? I really do hate to be crude, but on some level almost everything we do is to do with sex, or our need to appear desirable to others. So shaming another person by commenting on their size, is one way of deflecting negativity onto them.

But why, why is this worse that commenting on a poor wardrobe choice? (and I am the queen of poor wardrobe choices) Well, if my friend says to me, ‘Gill, I love your bold use of colour today, but maybe try sticking to a maximum of 3 in any one outfit’. That is fine, it is something easily taken on board, and you can adjust your future wardrobe choices with this constructive criticism in mind. But to comment on someone’s wardrobe choice, by calling them, slutty, asking for it, barely there, whorish (and I won’t go on but you get the idea) isn’t constructive. Sure, you are passing your opinion but really how is that helpful. Does it really matter if it isn’t to your taste, and why do you think they should care. There is a big different between offering some constructive feedback (although not always warranted or welcomed tbh) and just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

For me, worse than commenting on how someone is choosing to present themselves to the world – commenting on body type. We have all seen the bikini ‘meme’ – ‘how to achieve a bikini body, get a bikini, put it on’. And it really is that simple. The size of the body wearing the bikini is beside the point and actually none of your business. What makes it worse, for me, is that it is a lot harder to change something. Telling people to one the one hand ‘eat a beefburger’ is as helpful and hurtful as telling them to ‘stop eating all the burgers’. While to some it may be a logical, and simple sum – more/less food in will result in a more desirable body shape.

But it isn’t easy, whatever way you are approaching the situation, you are naturally slender, and find it difficult to put on weight. How do you think it feels to be constantly told you need to eat more fried food?! And if you are already at a larger body weight (I won’t use BMI because I am not a fan) then simply not eating doesn’t work. These things are not quick fixes, they are not something the person hasn’t considered every time they dress, when they catch themselves in the mirror, when they see you looking at them.

Everyone is going through things that a not visible, and frankly none of your business. They don’t want or need your judgement. I am not saying you cannot think these things, you are welcome to. I am not for a moment suggesting you repress your natural inclination or reaction to a person or situation. But just take a moment to think before saying something to them, either online or to their face. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Side note : I want to touch on a subject getting a lot of press at the moment, and that is ‘plusisequal’ and various other plus size promoting that is going on at the moment. The fact is a lot of events still use models who are size 12/16 at the very most. Which is a massive slap in the face to ladies who are larger and would like to see how these fashions will realistically fall on their bodies. There is still the issue of needing to look desireable at a larger size, so if you are not rocking the hourglass look, you are just not the right , size, plus size. At the end of the day, every person should be able to wear what they want, and feel good about themselves. It is not a competition to see who can wear it better. If you want to make a change, do it for you. It is the only way that change will be long term. Remember that you are the one living in that body. No one else.